Actuarial Risk Management Humor

During the pause of a Risk Management conference, a professional risk manager, an accountant and an actuary were in the gents room standing at the urinals. The risk manager, who finished first, walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel to ensure that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the accountant and actuary, he said, "We risk managers are trained to be extremely thorough to prevent any risk at all."

Then the accountant finished his task at the urinal and proceeded to wash his hands. He used a 'single paper towel' and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "We accountants are not only trained to be extremely thorough in preventing risk, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient in managing and controlling risk as well."

Finally the actuary finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "We actuaries, we never get our hands dirty"


Links:
- If people think other people are watching them, then they are more likely to wash hands

ABP Pension Fund ROI Travesty

What is a 'good' return on investment?

Dutch Pension Fund ABP, the industry-wide pension fund for employers and employees ( 2.8 million participants) in government and educational institutions in the Netherlands and the world’s third largest pension fund, reported a 20.2% return on investment in 2009.

In the 2nd half 2009 Press Release, ABP qualifies it's own performance as a 'Good Rate of Return'.
Now theologists as well as actuaries are familiar with the risk of calling something 'Good' ....

ABP ROI Stress Test
Let's put the ABP investment strategy to the test.

In the same Press Release,  ABP publishes the long-term rate of return from 1993 to 2009. ABP's average annual rate of return over this period of 17 years is 6.7%.

ABP's 'Signs of Hope Strategy'
To achieve this phenomenal return, ABP has developed a spectacular - every three years changing - Investment Strategy Plan (latest plan is confidently called: 'Signs of Hope') with a strong diversified 'winning' (?)  investment mix in combination with zero transparency or accountability information with regard to 'investment costs'.

Alternative T-Bond Strategy
Alternatively, ABP would have been better of if it would have applied a no-risky defensive European (10 years) Treasury Bond Strategy from the start. In this case the yearly average 1993-2009 ROI would have been around 6.9%.

Take a look at the next chart and decide for yourself. What pension fund would you prefer, Red or Blue?

ABP stated in their objectives that, in order to keep pensions affordable in the future, the return on investments must attain an average of 7% per year. It's clear that this objective will never be met on basis of the developed investment strategies in the past.

ABP's Future perspective?
Let's 'hope' that, after the recent step down of Ed Nijpels, ABP's new to be appointed chairman will have enough power, (pension) experience and time available to resist and combat the opportunistic and risky plans of the headstrong APG investment specialists.
Anyhow, the new chairman should be at least someone who knows how to spell the word 'Risk Management' and is experienced in (ac)counting from 1 to 10.... maybe an actuary?

Solution
Perhaps the best thing to do is to:

• turn the ABP scheme into a "pay as you go system",
  
• transfer the ABP administration to the efficient Dutch Social Insurance Bank,
  
• fire most of the ABP Asset Management Department (APG) (as they are confused about time and cannot tell the difference between Tomorrow and Today anyway) and finally,
  
• use the € 208 billion on assets to reduce most of the Dutch National Debt ( € 375 billion)

Good Luck ABP!

Links
- Top 10 largest pension funds in the world
- ABP Press release 2nd half 2009
- APG: Tomorrow is Today 
- Joshua Maggid: Excel ABP (.xls) 

Actuarial Smurf

Question is whether actuaries are best positioned for the role of Chief Risk Officer (CRO)....

More and more the CRO becomes one of the most important positions at board level to analyze, control and optimize risks in (financial) institutions. Qualified actuaries are pre-eminently positioned to qualify as CRO. After all, managing risk has been their primary task for decades. Rolling out the new Chartered Enterprise Risk Analyst (CERA) credential, actuaries will get better trained and educated than ever before.

CRO Role at Risk
Despite of all this, the CRO role is 'at risk' itself. CRO responsibilities and position are by definition conflicting with certain other stakeholder roles.

This is clearly demonstrated in a graph developed by Professor Emeritus Harry Panjer(Actuarial Science University of Waterloo).

Let's take a look at the slightly adapted graph of Harry Panjer:

• Regulator
  Regulators’ primary responsibility is to protect customers. Thus avoiding downside risk is their focus.
  
• Rating agencies
  Rating agencies focus on both the possibility of large losses as well as the possible gains to shareholders.
  
• Investors
  Investors are interested in both gains and losses and are willing to take the risk of the loss of capital as long as there is compensatory opportunity for gains.
  
• CEO
  The CEO with big stock options, has huge upside potential but little downside risk. Getting fired is one of the embedded options of the CEO's personal strategy.
  
• CFO
  The CFO's first responsibility is to stay 'in control'. The CFO will try to prevent excessive unforeseeable or unexplainable results, whether down- or upward.
  
• Clients
  Clients are primarily interested in value for money, service, quality and the continuity of the (financial) institution. Clients will keep satisfied as long as the financial results of the company remain stable and (average) positive within limits.
  
• CRO
  The CRO is trying to control the downside risk. The CRO is a kind of 'Risk Management Smurf' who only has a big STOP sign to limit the CEO and shareholders in their (short term return) demands. 

It's clear, acting as a CRO is like:

• Walking on eggshells
• Communicating with a silver tongue
• Listening like a fly on the wall
• Looking like a policeman
• Convincing like a missionary
• Calculating like an actuary

Don't wait any longer, become a professional Actuarial Smurf!

Links:
- Panjer: ERM and the Role of Actuaries (2009,pdf)