Invest or laugh

Every crisis generates his own new quotes. Currently, investment quotes are the top.

Perhaps two of the best investment quotes ever are from AIG Vice Chairman Jacob Frenkel:

"The left side of the balance sheet has nothing right and the right side of the balance sheet has nothing left. But they are equal to each other. So accounting-wise we are fine."

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"Credit markets do not function. Why not, because the word credit comes from credibility"

But there's more... A nice summary of investment ROFL quotes can be find on Ian Thomson's blog Investor Jokes.

As actuaries, let's profit from Ian's latest insights and gain some extra education points by studying the next new investment definitions:

• A long term investment: Short term investment that failed.
• Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
• Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

Probably investors and actuaries will have a hard time understanding each other, as the difference between them is in the 'tail' .....

Also large-cap fund managers have a hard time these days. No wonder everybody starts looking for a small-cap fund manager....
But how do you find one? Ians' answer is simple: Find a good large-cap fund manager, and wait...

Anyhow, keep up your good mood and laughs, as more investment 'animals' will show up next months.....


Let's conclude this blog with an old actuarial warning:

"Where there's smoke, someone gets fired"

P.S. For some more 'serious' investment quotes take a look at 52 Must Read quotes from the legendary Investor Warren Buffett. I'll quote some of the best here:

• I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for five years.
• If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians (actuaries?).
• It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.
• It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.
• It’s far better to buy a wonderful company at a fair price than a fair company at a wonderful price.
• Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
• Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.
• Risk is a part of God’s game, alike for men and nations.

How can actuaries profit from Buffett's quotes?

Sources:
- Greekshares Jokes
- Ian's Investor Jokes
- Warren Buffett: 52 Must Read quotes